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by Myrna Krehbiel

I was horrified to hear that the Wichita Eagle printed pages of the gory details of BTK's murders. How is it that violence sells? Who buys it?

Whether it is the violence of BTK, the recent tsunami, the 4 women that are killed through domestic violence each day in the U.S., or the war in Iraq…How do we respond to the pain & suffering we see on TV, read in the newspapers, or experience in our personal lives? Are we numbed by violence? Are we paralyzed by fear?

I want to turn it all off, but what are the consequences of doing so?

In late July Randy and I has the privilege of spending a week with Catherine Whitmire* in a Practice Peace seminar near Dubois, Wyoming. Catherine reminded us that we must be open to seeing and hearing the pain and suffering in our lives and the lives of others if we are to practice peace. I understood her to say that we cannot practice peace without knowing something about how to "blend" pain and suffering with gratitude and love. True peace, Catherine suggests, is possible only when we act from "the center" where ugliness and hate meet beauty and love and where God and humankind connect.

Insert graphic of circle with two lines through it - one vertical, one horizontal with the following words at the four ends of the lines: "God" on top of vertical, "Humankind" on bottom; "Pain & Suffering" on left horizontal and "Beauty and Love" on right horizontal. Arrow pointing to center with words "The Center."

The Wonderful Happens**

If I want to change my habit of ignoring the violence around me, how can I do that? Where do I find the courage and love needed to change? I have noticed that the following seem to be steps in the direction of changing my attitudes and behaviors:

1. Recognize my fears, name them, and tell them to a friend.
2. Pay attention to the love that is in and around me, notice beauty, and tell a friend.
3. Explore more ways of listening to my body, my mind and my spirit, and of listening to myself, my neighbor and my God.

Step by step, the wonderful happens. We might stumble and fall, but how else do we learn to walk?

When my friend told me about the front page picture of BTK and the graphic details of his murders, a low, guttural sound erupted from deep inside me. How could something so awful be "glorified" in this way. I struggled to fathom how could this terrible ugliness meet beauty or even love. I decided to 1. Tell you about it. 2. Encourage friends who subscribe to the Eagle to let the newspaper editor know what they think and how they fell about giving so much attention to these horrific crimes and the person behind them. I even fantasized about hundreds of subscribers saying that they would cancel their subscriptions unless receiving a handwritten, personal note of apology for thinking this kind of information is what is good for our families and communities. And even if this most wonderful scenario didn't happen, maybe something a bit smaller, yet still wonderful, would. The editor would hear one voice at a time, that people are opposed to this use of the media to spread stories of violence, that there are those of us who prefer in fact a way of reporting that promotes peace in our community - reporting instead on something such as how the victims left behind have gone on to make positive lives for themselves. Step by step, we can make a difference.

*Catherine Whitmire lives in Maine with her husband Tom Ewelll. A Quaker, she is the author of Plain Living and soon to be author of Practicing Peace.

**Also the title of one of the great books available for sale at Peace Connections. It is a picture written by Cynthia Rylant.